


A Stand Up Man

by SubtextEquals



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 18:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9135997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubtextEquals/pseuds/SubtextEquals
Summary: Agron's bad at a lot of things- joking, flirting, not insulting Crixus. The list goes on.Fortunately, at amateur night, he finds someone who likes it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt "stand up" for nagron.

Standing just off stage, Agron glanced out at what he could see of his audience to be.

“I'm starting to question this fucking plan,” he muttered to Spartacus.

“Agron, no one should be denied the experience that is your humor.”

Agron turned to his friend and hissed, “oh you are so following me after this.”

“Agron, don’t let stage fright come between you and--” His last words were interrupted by the lukewarm applaud for the comic now leaving the stage.

Well what did they expect for amateur night? Agron needed to never drunkenly challenge his friends again. Sober, on the other hand…

No time for that. Agron gave him a shove onto the stage so off he went.

No time to be intimidated either. No time to give a friendly wave at Naevia or a strange blond in the front row or--

Oh fuck, that man was hot.

Agron looked away before the image of that gorgeous face burned itself into his mind forever. He grabbed the mic, stared at the crowd, and realized it was too late.

“Right, this is the part where I introduce myself, but I don’t think you all care.”

He heard Spartacus say something too indistinct to make out.

“I’m Agron the Amateur.” He glanced at Spartacus.

_Better?_

Spartacus shook his head.

Close enough.

“More like Agron the asshole,” Crixus grumbled in, fittingly, a stage whisper.

Oh, right. He hadn’t noticed him what with the distracting beauty sitting at the same table.

“Hey, being one means I know how to treat them right.” Agron pointed at his not quite friend. Then paused.

Silence aside from one or two sniggers. The handsome man covered his mouth with his hand.

“To get this out of the way, my friend here is Crixus. He’s not the kind of gay asshole like myself who is, really, really good at showing a guy a good time. He gets into bar fights without buying a man and drink and telling him how he has great hair and eyes that--”

“I’m straight!” Crixus yelled.

“Yeah, I have no idea how your girlfriend puts up with you. Look at her, and her friends. This is one stunningly beautiful front row. By the way, I don’t think we’ve met.”

The blonde wrapped her arm around her amazing companion. For a moment, Agron believed himself doomed by heterosexuals. Then she declared.

“We’re cheering up my friend. He just got dumped and he loves hopeless cases like you.”

The man groaned. “Chadara...”

“He’s very into assholes,” Naevia chimed in.

Agron stopped himself from pumping his hand in the air in spite of the insult. Instead, he went on. “What sort of awful asshole could dump such a gorgeous man?”

The man glanced over at his friends. “Is he insulting--”

Naevia and Crixus shook their heads as one. “No.”

“His name is Castus.”

Agron snorted. “ _Castus_? That’s the shittiest name I’ve heard. Worse than Crixus.”

“Will you stop--” Crixus began but was cut off.

“Shut up! This is better than the last four amateurs!” A random heckler shouted. Actually ,if they seemed sincere, it might not count as heckling.

“And worse than Crixus in more ways than one. Sounds like he doesn’t bother shower, can’t win a fight, and can’t please a man--” he turned to Crixus, “not that you want to.”

“ _Thank you._ ”

“And is a selfish, self absorbed-- actually that is Crixus.”

“He’s got a point,” Chadara whispered to Naevia, who lightly slapped her arm.

“And clearly can’t see because if he could he would never give up on the most beautiful man in existence. My God, your eyes are--”

“Get a room!” someone shouted.

“No, seriously,” said another person. “I’ll pay. You’re kind of adorable.”

“And a bad flirt,” the object of Agron’s affections said. “But this is creative.”

“Let’s put together a fund for their hotel room!” Chadara yelled.

“Uh wait,” Agron held up his hand. “This is getting a little carried away. I--”

“I know where they should go for their first date!”

Agron flushed. “I don’t want to pressure him into this. Can we go back to jokes?”

“I’m actually not feeling pressured.”

“Ah…” Agron looked back to the audience. “O.K. nevermind, keep up with the jokes, guys.”

 

From the conventional measure of success, Agron as a comic failed miserably. But judging by the applause as he left, he didn’t do half bad.

“Well.” Spartacus had that knowing look in his eyes and greeted Agron by clapping his shoulder. “I’m impressed that a whole room liked your flirting skills.” He steered Agron to the exit. “Let’s step outside.”

“Fuck, I am so glad that Duro wasn’t here for this.”

“I think Mira was in the back recording it.”

Agron closed his eyes. “Fuuuuck.”

They made it outside of the club before they knew it, Spartacus teasing him every step of the way.

“I thought you’d be out here.”

Agron’s head snapped in the direction of his crush’s voice so fast it was a wonder the bones didn’t crack.

“Hey, I never did catch your name.”

“Nasir.”

“Nasir,” Agron repeated, grinning. “Great name. I’m sorry if I got carried away. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

Nasir shook his head. “No, it was nice to hear someone say things like that to me.” His eyes drifted to Agron’s lips for only a moment, but long enough that Agron was sure to take note. “I wouldn’t mind hearing more.”

“How about ‘I hear that rebound sex is great after a breakup.’”

“I’m not one for rebounds,” Nasir said.

Damn. “Sorry, I--”

“But if you want to buy me a beer and tell me about my eyes…” That blush on his face was so, so incredibly beautiful.

Agron nodded. “No barfights, I promise. You want to go before we find out if they actually pooled together for a hotel room?”

“Oh God, please.” Nasir held out his arm.

Agron took it.

“He can do other things standing up,” Spartacus offered.

“Spartacus!”

“Only trying to help. I know how badly you wanted to say that.”

“I’ll remember that for later,” Nasir whispered.

That “Amateur night” quickly became a timeless tale of how you can fail so badly you win.

Mira also made sure to play a video of it at their wedding.


End file.
